on my first tour bus with the apostles of comedy tour. we have gone from nashville to charlotte, nc; to charleston, sc; to bluffton, sc. it's been a great time and it's taught me a lot about what has to happen to get a ministry noticed. the guys on this tour are amazing. you would think being on a bus with 4 comedians, a tour manager, artist manager, and world vision rep. the conversations on the bus and around the table would be nothing but laughter and seeing who can make the other person laugh harder.
while there are plenty of times when the laughter is tremendous, more often than not, the laughter gives way to serious talk about how to survive and get the tour more places. at first glance one might think the whole goal is to book more dates to get more money. while that is definitely a good business move, i think i am beginning to understand the heart of ministry more and more. i have been able to see guys who are very successful in their careers and in their lives talk about ways to get more time to talk ministry, to minister to people, and to get more opportunities for ministry through their gifts--comedy...and MAN ARE THEY GIFTED.
it made me think about myLIFEspeaks. i have wanted nothing more than to be able to minister to people where they are over the past few years. while i was on the church staffs, ministry DID happen, but the majority of it was typical. what i found once i stepped away from the church staff life was the reality of ministry in the workplace.
if you remember a few months ago i wrote about a new position i had taken with a wellness company. that has since disappeared and i have had to laugh more than once at the opportunity which has been placed before me. I HAVE A MINISTRY WHICH I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO!!!!
in february, missy and i stepped out on faith and (for the first time in our marriage) have no steady paycheck. our whole existence depends on getting to share our story. we are living by FAITH. we are trusting God and watching Him meet our every need! we are trusting Him for groceries, housing, healthy insurance and everything we need. it has been an awesome time.
if you know much about the ministry we have, we were called to share our story with as many people as possible. we get to help people through the opportunities God placed before us.
i have to confess, it was a whole lot easier when that was a ministry but the money came from a "fallback" like a full-time job. now it's scary and i get nervous, but the rock of our family, missy reminds me God has to be in control just the thought of living by faith scares the pants off me (not literally thank the Lord!!).
i know God has given me a talent...not three or five or more, but a talent to communicate. He called me last year to write my story and the story of others down. He really did. i don't mean in an audible voice, but in my LIFE i know that was Him calling me to do that. so, i am committing to working on the book. i will hopefully have our story written in the next couple of months and will begin the work on putting others' stories together for a second book.
please pray for me during this time. i have a tendency to be like Simon Peter and take my eyes off the call when the going gets tough. i stood in front of the group gathered last April (2008) and proclaimed my desire to have the book done by the end of last year...and no book still. the truth is i froze. literally, i wanted to laugh more than anything and i thought if i simply just waited, something would fall in my lap. it did and didn't. we received an unbelievable gift of love and i even got a chance to sit in front of the best stories on the planet...and did NOTHING with it.
i'm writing this as a public confession of my LIFE over the past couple of years. the depression and anxiety won...but will no longer be victorious over me. the self-worth wasn't there and the LIFE God gave me was held at arm's length at best. then sunday at church i read this passage:
Psalm 37:
4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
I have a different look now. I have always been the one to cower in the face of adversity and conflict. i hated to look at finances...literally I HATE IT. it scares me to death. i have lived in fear daily of how are we going to survive...and today i am learning to live without that fear looming overhead. if He called me to do something, why do i need to worry? foxes have holes and birds have nests and the flowers are clothed in their beauty...so stop being a eunuch! (looking the part without the power!) i have the power of the almighty which raised Jesus from the dead on my side and living in ME and wanting to make me more like him and less like me...
pray for me and with me please...
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