life happens

what are we supposed to do when things don't go our way? what do you do? i know what i usually choose. i usually choose to try to think of a solution to my problem. i usually try to figure things out that make sense to me. that usually works pretty good...good enough to create total chaos in my life.

like for instance, my van keys. my keys are so lost right now, i don't think the fbi could find them. seriously, they're lost. in fact, i'm definitely stressed about it. i'm racking my brain to come up with a way to find those little metal devils. it's beginning to affect my family. i mean, i take care of my stuff. i don't leave my toys out in the rain anymore. i put my garage door down at night so that the boogey men won't come in and carry off all of the junk that i call mine. i even went so far as to put up those little hook things that are supposed to keep my keys safely attached to the wall until i need them. the only problem is that i still have to put them there.

this weekend has been exciting...great football games (which is why i thinkg God invented fall!), friends, family, and then it all went southward towards the land of OCD...i lost my keys.

growing up an only child meant that i never had to worry about someone else losing my stuff; it meant however that i couldn't ever blame someone else for losing my stuff. I LOST MY KEYS! what kind of a loser does that? i don't mean misplaced them, i mean LOST them!

i have searched the entire house, the yard, and even both (yes 2) minivans. still no luck. sounds biblical enough, i mean at least the widow found that stupid coin, but that was her and this is ME! she didn't even have keys, shucks, she probably didn't even have a door, but she found the coin, why can't i find the keys???

then it hits me, i'm worried about something so much that it has actually altered my mood. i've never been a crack addict or junkie, but i have had my mood altered before. i never liked it. i hate being out of control of my actions, so why in the world am i letting keys do this to me? i know why, because i have always cared so much about losing something, and now i care so much about losing them. it makes me look bad, look irresponsible, and even silly. i do not like looking like that. i like putting on my pretty little perfect face and living normal without problems. i am not immune to problems though.

then the big one hits, what does it really matter in the scope of things? at least i'm not being sued (like so many people i work with and respect), i'm not watching my child suffer in the last hours of her life (God please watch Copeland...and her mommy, daddy, and sister), nor am i wondering how i am going to put food on the table (which was so true not to many days ago...). i'm worried about keys. i can get another set...or really just one is all that is missing. the truth is my problems aren't really that big today. sure it's a hassle, and having to borrow my wife's keys stinks, but i've got God. that really is enough today.

so those plans i had about getting a giant metal detector and retracing everywhere i've been for the past 4 days are gone. i'm going to spend some time with Him...