out of control?

what do you do when things are out of your control?

that's a very real question to me these days. i think the most difficult part of LIFE right now is knowing that the majority of my LIFE is out of my control. i am completely living in a dependent state. i depend on God first and foremost to get me through the day, to get me up in the mornings, and to sustain my being.

i depend on my wife to take care of the kids while i'm gone. i depend on her to be the glue that is holding things together while i'm traveling. i depend on her to make sure things get done while i'm away...like getting kids to football, to voice lessons, and everywhere else they need to go.

i depend on the boys to help their mom. i depend on them to listen, be respectful, and to help even in instances when mom doesn't ask for it.

i depend on katie to help too. i depend on her to help get the boys around, to help with lane, and to walk with Christ.

as much as i hate to admit it, this LIFE of dependency is difficult. i don't have a regular "steady" job for the first time in 14 years. i don't have a "church" to call home. i don't know what things are going to look like next week, next month, or even next year.

i don't have a place to regularly plug into. it was so much easier when everything fell into place, but i'm finding out that God isn't concerned with things falling into place on my schedule, rather He's going to continue to want me to live for Him, and remember, regardless of what my fears tell me, that He is going to see us through--and He will. it might mean a big lifestyle change, moving, or facing my greatest fears and being a part of a different church, but i KNOW God is going to do something amazing in our lives, and I WILL DEPEND ON HIM.