Thursday, July 10, 2008

more stuff i have learned recently


as i think about the things i learned, i have to let you know one more thing i have learned from my kids.

2. when i lay my kids down to sleep, one of the things i try to do with them is pray. i know, as a professional Christian you might expect that from me, but i do try to make it happen. unfortunately i get caught up like many people do, in getting the task done so they can get to bed and so i can finally wind down and crash myself. with summer upon us, it seems like i'm going to bed at the same time as my kids these days.

ok, so here's the lesson:
when Lane was young and still in the NICU, we got ready to leave one night, and we said his prayers over him. we quickly realized that we had "punched the clock." we learned it because we hadn't gotten too far down the road and my pager (yep, old school pager with a beeper) went off. we were notified to come back to the NICU. since we didn't have a cell phone, we immediately turned the car around and headed back to the NICU. when we got there we were greeted by a doctor who told us that things were ok now, but that Lane had stopped breathing while we were gone--even while he was on a ventilator. he explained that Lane was having bronchospasms--where his lungs just couldn't get air and no matter how hard the ventilator worked, they were helpless.

when things finally settled down early the next morning, Missy and i decided it was time to head home and try to get some rest. then we prayed with Lane again and realized the line in the prayer that we couldn't get past...."If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take..."

how do you pray that prayer knowing that it might come true? how do you pray and ask God to take care of your child who might die, when He just might do it? the only answer i have is faith. i don't know how, i don't know when, but i know it happened. we began to have a different faith. one that wasn't out for a comfortable moment, but one that said God actually knew best. one that said, our house will be great for Lane and we will take care of him, BUT God's house will be even better and God will take even BETTER care of him.

what a humbling and sober moment for a parent. i wasn't prepared for it. even with my professional Christian status and my theological training, i wasn't prepared for that giant growth of my faith, and God knew it. He knew i wasn't prepared, but He knew i was ready.

So today, regardless of what comes, i don't have to be prepared to learn, just ready. that's why through all of this with my Dad i REFUSE to give up. i REFUSE to blame ANYONE and i REFUSE to get angry. I don't have the right to question God's choice of when it is time for me to grow, i just need to be ready. i don't like growing, but i don't think Jonah, Job, Paul, Simon Peter, Moses, Noah, Samson, or anyone else did either. (pretty eclectic list huh?--and notice they all didn't handle things right!)

what are you going to do with your growing opportunity today?

if you have heard about Sunday's message at Two Rivers, then you might have heard i spoke a little about this. Here is the outline...
1. Our Problems are OUR opportunity to find God's strength and power.
Romans 8:18-19, 28, 31-32
James 1:2-4

2. Our problems are OUR opportunity to find OUR weaknesses
Romans 8:33-36
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Paul's background 2 Corinthians 11:24-29
2 Corinthians 4:8

3. Our problems are OUR opportunity to explore the height and depth of God.
Romans 8:37-39
James 1:5-8
Psalm 139:7-8

then we sang Great is THY Faithfulness...

you can check out the podcast, by subscribing at www.tworivers.org

No comments: