Things I'm Learning...

if you know me, you know i really like to learn. i like to read and i like to watch those shoes on the discovery channel and national geographic channel that no one else watches. now that i have HD tv i find myself watching more weird stuff!

over the past few months i've learned some things. i think i will share them with you in the days to come. today, i want you to know what Lane has taught me...

1. Lane taught me that i am his version of what God looks like--really.

this is how it played out. we were in his room one day and i asked Lane, "who loves you?" he immediately answered, "GAAHHD." if you have heard him say this, you can imagine the sound. it was pretty cool. on this particular day i decided to take it a step or two further. i asked Lane, "where does God live?" Lane took his thumb and hit his chest a couple of times and said, "AAAAHHHRR." that's Lane for HEART.

i beamed as a proud dad who realized his son was getting it. i don't know how much he got, but i most definitely knew he was getting something, so i decided to take it a step further. i asked Lane, "who ELSE loves you?" Lane quickly replied, "DADDEEEY!" yes, i smiled again with pride.

then i did something i had never done before and hadn't planned to do. i asked Lane, "who is God?" i did this because i honestly expected him to respond with the sign language for Jesus, or say "GAAHHD", or anything else, but he didn't. he said, "DADDEEEY!" i quickly told him "no, daddy's not God."

i asked again and again, he answered the same. i was beginning to worry about him. i know he has severe brain damage and doesn't comprehend a lot of what we say, AND he functions on about an 18 month level, but what was i doing to my child? was i locking something into his brain that was forever going to ruin him? was i going to cause him to miss out on faith in Christ because of how he was answering? was i scarring him for LIFE? Funny how when we begin thinking we're so important we realize how quickly we mess things up!

then i realized that what i was seeing was something i had heard for so many years. i was actually witnessing what i have told so many people. We really ARE influenced about our view of our Heavenly Father from our earthly father! i don't think i was prepared for that. my whole LIFE message is to tell others that their LIFE is speaking. i know myLIFEspeaks, but i don't know that i realized what it was saying to my own children.

i still don't want Lane or anyone else to think that i am God. i shudder at that thought, but i do recognize now that when we ride to school, the mall, ball practice, or anywhere else, my kids are looking at me like i'm their version of God. i know they'll grow out of that--D is already growing way too fast for me.

so there you have it. #1....Lane has taught me to always be on the alert because God is being processed to my children through me...pretty scary stuff huh?